I was the man who had all that I ever wanted. Admittedly, I didn't want much. But I had friends and family. I had a roof over my head. I had food and clean water. I had heat in the winter, and shade in the summer. I didn't live in a mansion with the latest technology, or have millions of dollars to spend at my whim, but I was comfortable. And because I was comfortable, I let my life waste away before my life. I did nothing important, because there was nothing that I desired to change.
Well, I suppose there was one thing. But I didn't really think about it much, because it wasn't really a big deal. The issue was my doppelganger. That's not quite the right term, but I'm not sure what else to call it. “Demon possession” is close, but that doesn't quite fit. There was a darkness living in me, but it wasn't an evil spirit. At least not directly. It was me, through and through, but it was my dark side. My shadow. But like I said, it wasn't a big deal. Everyone had one, and for the most part, I kept it hidden inside of me. Sure, it would come out every once in a while, but for the most part, I could keep it under control. When it did show itself, people were typically fairly okay with it- after all, everyone's doppelganger comes out from time to time. And it doesn't cause that much of a problem. It whispers in my ear sometimes. It teaches me good things. It keeps me happy. Besides, even if I wanted to get rid of it, there wasn't much I could do. People had tried before, and it never really seemed to work. So I, like everyone else, had learned to live with it. Nobody really minded anymore. It was just a part of life, and wishing that it were gone may as well be like wishing I could fly. It's never going to happen, so no point thinking about it. So I just kept it inside. I lived my life.
But one day a strange man came to town. He looked fairly normal, but everyone noticed him. This wasn't from any extravagance or difference on his part, but our doppelgangers warned us of him. “Dangerous,” mine whispered. “Stay away.” So I watched from a distance. My friends watched too; their doppelgangers had warned them as well. If the stranger noticed us, he gave no sign of it. He seemed normal. The only thing that we could even remotely think of was that he was very good at keeping his doppelganger inside, but that wasn't all that odd. Some people were better at keeping them inside than others. That night, we got together and discussed him. Our doppelgangers all came out and started whispering to us. It was a rare sight to see them all out at once, but after listening to what they had to say, it started to make sense. Sometimes they labeled him as “evil” or “seducer.” Other times, “killer” and “destroyer.” But they consistently agreed that he was very dangerous, and that we shouldn't even talk to him. Not quite understanding, but filled with a sense of caution, we each went home.
The next day, we watched him again. He was at a coffee shop, which meant that we were too. But that time, something different happened. One of my friends got up to go get another drink, and the stranger did at the same time. They met in line.
“Hey,” the stranger said. “I'm Jason.” My friend seemed unsure for a moment, then smiled and introduced himself. The line was moving in the other direction, so we couldn't hear their conversation, but by the time our friend got back with his drink, he wasn't smiling anymore.
“He claims that he doesn't have a doppelganger,” he said. We stared.
“Everyone has a doppelganger,” I responded.
“I know. But he says that he doesn't. He says that he killed it.”
We stared some more, and our doppelgangers came out and started whispering to us furiously. “Liar, killer, evil!” My friends glared over at him. I glanced over at him as well. He smiled and nodded in our direction. I nodded back, still not entirely sure what was going on.
My friend wasn't done, though. “And he said that if I went over to visit him, he would show me how to kill my doppelganger, too! It's like he thinks I'm ashamed of it or something! It's like he's scared of his, and the only way to cope with it is to lie about not having one and tell people that they should get rid of theirs, too!” We turned back and stared at him again.
“Did he say where he's staying?” I asked.
“Yes, but don't tell me you're thinking of visiting him!”
“It can't hurt to talk to him, right?”
My doppelganger whispered furiously in my ear while my friend looked at me nervously. “I mean... I guess not... But be careful, okay? I don't want you to get hurt.” I nodded, and my friend gave me the address.
The next day, I went to visit him. As I approached the door, my doppelganger came out. It was calmer this time. “You didn't call ahead of time. You've never met him. Visiting with no notice would be rude.”
I hesitated. As usual, my doppelganger was right. I started to turn and go back home, when the door opened.
“Hey!” said Jason. “I'm Jason. You were at the coffee shop yesterday, right?”
I shook his hand. “Yeah, I was. I think you talked to my friend in line. I'm Jacob.”
Jason smiled. “Nice to meet you, Jacob. Why don't you come in?” He turned and went in. It was a fairly well-lit room, and I sat in a chair across from Jason. “I imagine your friend was a bit suspicious of me, right?”
I nodded. “A bit. And I have to admit that I'm kind of curious as well. My friend said that you claim to have killed your doppelganger.”
“That's correct.”
I paused. “...I'm not quite sure where to start. I guess the first thing to ask would be, why?”
“That's a long story,” Jason replied. “...I suppose one way to put it would be that... No, that isn't quite right... It's that... There's Someone Who wants to meet you, Who wanted to meet me, Who wants to meet us all. But we can't, until we get rid of our doppelgangers.”
I looked at him skeptically. “That's not really possible.”
“What isn't? Getting rid of your doppelganger?”
“That too, but I mean, that there's Someone Who hasn't met me, Who knows nothing about me, and still loves me like that. It sounds more like a scam.”
“A scam? In what way?”
“Let's assume that I accept the existence of this Person. If they really loved me, why would they want to take away my doppelganger? It's really useful. And the idea that I can't meet that Person as long as I have it just sounds really suspicious.”
“Why would someone want to cause harm to someone they'd never met? Assuming, of course, that your doppelganger really is good for you.”
“I don't know... Maybe they want to be the most powerful person by being the only one with a doppelganger? And to do that, they have to get rid of everybody else's.”
“In that case, it looks like the real question is this: is your doppelganger really all that good for you?”
I looked at him, confused, and paused. “Of course,” I answered after a moment.
Jason smiled. “If that's true, then why do you keep it hidden? Why not let it out all the time?”
“It would... It could cause trouble if I didn't keep it reigned in from time to time.”
“But I thought you said it was good.”
“It is. It teaches me things, reminds me of things...”
“But how can it be both good and evil?”
“It... It isn't. It's like a pet dog, or something. A dog might be nice, but you have to take care of it still.”
“You don't know the mind of a dog, though. A dog doesn't teach you things. How do you know that the things your doppelganger teaches you are really good?”
“It's just... It's just common sense! It tells me things about right and wrong that I might not have thought about before, or that I might have not realized something about!”
Jason took a breath, smiled, and spoke quietly. “If your doppelganger says one thing, and somebody else's says something different, whose is right?”
I stood up. “I have an appointment that I need to get to, so we'll have to finish this conversation some other time. It was nice talking to you.”
Jason stood up and walked me to the door. “You're welcome to come back any time,” he said, and handed me a business card. “I'm here on business, but that's my cell phone number on the card. You can use it to get ahold of me if you want.”
I nodded and smiled slightly, then turned and left.
That night, I discussed Jason with my friends again and told them what had happened. They were visibly relieved that I was okay, and started putting Jason down fairly harshly in the conversation that followed. I listened, but didn't say anything. My doppelganger was a bit annoying, sometimes... Why was it that we hid them? That we acknowledged them, but didn't want to talk about them? And if our doppelgangers disagreed... I thought for a minute, letting my friends rant in the background, then asked them a question. “Hey, have your doppelgangers ever told you anything about how far it's okay to go with your girlfriend before you're married?”
My friends turned to look at me, a bit confused. One of them smiled a little and answered. “Kissing is okay, but nothing further than that. Everyone knows that.”
The other looked at him. “What are you talking about? As long as it's consensual and legal, and you're enjoying yourselves, why not just do whatever you want?”
“Look, he asked about our doppelgangers, not us. That may be your opinion, but my doppelganger says just kissing.”
“I know he asked about our doppelgangers. That's what I was talking about. Seriously, why would kissing be okay but nothing else? If that's what your doppelganger thinks, then it's an idiot. And you're an idiot for believing it.”
I watched as their argument got more heated, and then stopped listening as I realized that their doppelgangers were whispering in their ears. Surely, their doppelgangers are telling them to calm down, I thought. They'll listen to them, and this'll all be over soon. But then I noticed, my friends were nodding! They were listening to their doppelgangers. They were doing exactly as they were being told, and they were being told to fight. I watched them fight until they eventually got up and went home.
The next day, I called Jason and arranged to meet him at the park in the afternoon. I mentioned it to my friends later when I saw them. They were visibly nervous, but didn't say anything about it.
I met Jason under a tree. He had a bag with him.
“Hey,” he said. “I'm glad you called me. Did you think any more about our conversation?”
“Yeah,” I said. “I'm... not really sure what to think about it, but... Let's say I assume that the doppelganger is evil. If we also assume that you really have killed yours, are you trying to say that you're perfect?”
“No, of course not,” he said. “My doppelganger whispered to me just as much as anyone's does. I learned its lessons, and I'm still unlearning them. But it is gone.”
“...Hypothetically, how would I get rid of it?”
“You have to kill it with this,” he said. He took a bundle out of his bag and unwrapped it. It was a dagger. The blade was pure white, and the handle was red like blood. “This is a gift,” he said, “from that Person.”
I took the dagger. “So, that Person gave you this, and you attacked your doppelganger with it?”
“No, I have one like it.” He took out an identical dagger. “That one is for you. I'm just passing it on. And you don't attack your doppelganger. The doppelganger is inside of you, and from you. You have to plunge that dagger into your chest.”
I stared at him. “You want me to what?”
“You have to die to yourself. I die daily, and my doppelganger has no more power in my life.”
I continued staring.
“Yeah, I know. But the alternative is to go on living with that thing. You've seen what it does, right?”
I nodded slowly and wrapped my hand around the dagger. “I just... stab myself?”
Jason nodded. I turned the dagger towards myself, when my friends came racing towards me. “Stop!” one of them shouted.
The other called to Jason, “What did you tell him?! Get away from him!”
“I told him the truth,” Jason said.
My friends' doppelgangers came out and began whispering furiously. One of my friends was shouting angrily at Jason, the other at me, with tears streaming down his face. “You can't become like him! He's trying to take you away, but it'll kill you! Even if it worked, you'd lose everything! Put down the knife!”
A tear rolled down my cheek, but I pressed the tip of my dagger against my chest anyway. My friends shouted louder, and I plunged it into my chest. I cried out in pain and fell to my knees, but my cries were nothing compared to the shrieks coming from my doppelganger. I could feel it writhing inside me and shriveling under the dagger's light, until finally, it was gone. I pulled out the dagger, but found no wound on my chest. I stood and looked around, not quite comprehending what had happened. My friends were staring at me. One of them walked over, slapped me, and stormed off. The other started crying, and then he turned to leave as well. I turned to Jason, who immediately hugged me, and I knew that my life was never going to be the same.
